At the end of a hard week of struggling with sin and failing to overcome, it is easy to feel as though I am unforgiveable, or at the very least that I can be forgiven only by a God who is in someway obligated to do so because He said He would – not because He really wants to. Why is it so hard to accept the gift of grace and forgiveness unquestioningly? Why do I still feel the need to justify the sin, or the forgiveness of it, instead of just accepting it?

It has helped me over the past few days to come to the realisation that not only is my sin forgiven and not counted against me, but my good deeds are also  not counted towards me. Having accepted the gift of eternal life I can no more contribute to it than I can do anything to put it in jeopardy (apart from actually giving the gift back). Knowing this, we are set free from trying to justify our actions, good or bad. We can no longer confess our sins with the following BUT then trying to even it out with whatever good we may have done. This is what Grace is all about – redemption not justification.

The many parables Jesus tells in the Gospels are pictures of grace. The prodigal son clearly shows the desire and desperation of God to extend the gift of forgiveness to his son. He waits by the gate and runs to him when he sees him approaching. He didn’t wait for an apology, he didn’t want to hear his justification of all that he had done, he merely wanted to see he him come towards him. He rejoiced in his return counting nothing from his past against him. For all he knew the son was returning to ask for more money then to be on his way again. But the father never gave him a chance to ask – he ambushed him instead with forgiveness and grace.

Jesus is waiting to ambush us with His grace. He searches us out and although he would never take us against our will, the moment we turn in His direction He is ready and willing, more than that, is anxiously desperate to forgive and to extend His grace to us.

The parable of the talents in Matthew 25 may look at first glance as though it is all about  numbers but a deeper look shows clearly that it speaks not of numbers but of obedience. Three men were each entrusted by their master with a number of talents. The first with 5, the second with 2 and the third with 1. It is stated that they were given these talents each according to their abilities. The first and second men put their talents to work and reproduced what they had invested 100%. The third man just put his aside to keep it safe and produced no profit. When the master returned he was pleased with the first two men, that they had invested the talents and earned a profit. To each of them he gave high praise and the same reward. “Well done, good and faithful slave! You have been faithful in a few things. I will put you in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of your master.” These were the words spoken to these first two men. The masters appreciation of each man and the value of the reward was not determined based on numbers but on the obedience of each man. Each one was called “good and faithful” each one was given more responsibility in the kingdom, with nothing to say that either one had a more or less important responsibility than the other, and each one was ushered into the “joy of the master”.

To live in the knowledge that we are not being judged on numbers, but on our obedience, frees us up to do that which we have been called to do. Obedience has no numerical value.  We are valued because we are faithful servants, not because of what we do or achieve.

What are each of us truly called to do?? Will a higher number of converts find us more favour with the master if we are not living a life of humility and obedience?